Re-entry is Harder than I thought

We arrived back from Japan at 11.30 3 days ago, I think. Honestly, all the days are mixed together so let's just say we arrived a couple of days ago. That feels more truthful. I never want to live more than an hour away from an airport. I hate arriving "home" and then having another 2+ hours until you actually reach "home". So after we waited the customary hour for our luggage, Star discovered our bag had fallen off the belt and was hidden from view. We grabbed it, made our way through the illegitimate taxi drivers and went to the pre-paid taxi. We loaded our SUV with our suitcases, asked the driver several times if he needed a coffee or gas, and then headed for Mysore. This drive is painful whenever you do it. In the daytime you have to contend with other cars and buses, as well as the pedestrian traffic around the towns. At night, there is less traffic but you can't see the many potholes and speed bumps that can rip you right out of your seat if you hit them at the wrong speed/angle. Plus at night one person has to remain awake to periodically engage the driver to make sure he is still awake. Luckily for me, we take traditional lines. I manage the kids in the back. Marvel engages the driver. Also, lucky for the driver because at that time I couldn't string 2 Kannada words together. We had been speaking Japanese for 2 weeks straight and that was the only foreign language I could call to my tongue. When I woke to find Flip's head resting on my head and her feet shoved in my stomach, I pried myself up to see we had arrived in Mysore. At 3 am, the roads were dark and empty and I had no feelings of "returning home". I waited, hoping that once we reached the gates of Sankalp I would feel that relief, but sadly it didn't come. It didn't come as we opened our front door and it didn't come as I fell into bed. Re-entry into India was going to be harder than I thought. Lakshmi and Srinivas came. They cooked and cleaned. It was good to see them, although with my severe lack of Kannada all I could do was mutter a few hellos. We didn't venture out of the complex all day. And in the daytime and after meeting up with friends, Sankalp did manage to feel a bit more like home. But when we finally ventured out of the complex, Flip helped me put my feelings into words. "Momma, these people are killing us." "What?" "That man (pointing to a man standing in my way). He is killing us all the time." You see I have this habit of talking to people when I am driving. "What are you doing? You are killing me, just killing me! Get out of my way." I guess Flip has picked it up. The workers at the store. They were just killing me. The moment I walked away from Flip or she walked away from me they pounced on her. I know they are just eager for interaction and their general intentions are kind, but Flip's head is buried into my leg and they are still asking her name and trying to pull her hand. The man begging for money and following me to my car. He was just killing me. After I get in my car, shut and lock the doors (not that he really would do anything) he then switches to assistant trying to guide me out of the parking spot but really he just blocks my view and forces me to crane my neck. The goats with their shitty little tails stuck in the air, walking down the middle of the road. They were just killing me. I can manage a cow, but the whole herd of goats I can not get around. Re-entry into India is going to be harder than I thought. Flip's folks arrived and we are enjoying having them here. Soon, I pack up and head to the US for a wedding. Soon, my dad will meet me in Frankfurt and we will come back to India together. There is lots to look forward to. And I know I will adjust again to find the India that I enjoy. But right now it is hard.