My friends around here tease me that I have already checked out. I didn't make the effort to wear a sari for a baby naming function yesterday. I wasn't front and center watching the pooja. They are joking on me, but part of me thinks I am checking out.
We had a super lazy Sunday yesterday. Star had her last dance class. We had a function to attend and a bucket meal to devour. And then we did nothing. The girls ran in and out of the house. We watched TV, a lot of TV, which is rare for us. We watched all of Forrest Gump. Man, I love that movie. And when it was over- after I cried all my make up off- I went downstairs to say hello to friends. I was doing all my normal things- dropping off my milk jug, saying hi to passing kids, and giving polite nods to the older generation who still just like to stare at me- but it felt like it was one of my first days in India. I had spent hours in "America" with Forrest Gump and waking up back in Sankalp felt strange.
Today I put on my IPod for the first time in months and went for a walk. My playlist is an eclectic mess- the Drifters, Snoop Dog, Bon Jovi, Buddy Miller... But listening to all this music, my music, made my heart happy. So happy I started singing aloud and didn't stop even as I passed the guard house and the security uncles all cringing from my off key voice.
I think I AM checking out. I think I am longing for the US and my old self. I am really going to miss Mysore, my eyes tear up as I write this, but for the first time in 9 months I am ready to come home.
We had a super lazy Sunday yesterday. Star had her last dance class. We had a function to attend and a bucket meal to devour. And then we did nothing. The girls ran in and out of the house. We watched TV, a lot of TV, which is rare for us. We watched all of Forrest Gump. Man, I love that movie. And when it was over- after I cried all my make up off- I went downstairs to say hello to friends. I was doing all my normal things- dropping off my milk jug, saying hi to passing kids, and giving polite nods to the older generation who still just like to stare at me- but it felt like it was one of my first days in India. I had spent hours in "America" with Forrest Gump and waking up back in Sankalp felt strange.
Today I put on my IPod for the first time in months and went for a walk. My playlist is an eclectic mess- the Drifters, Snoop Dog, Bon Jovi, Buddy Miller... But listening to all this music, my music, made my heart happy. So happy I started singing aloud and didn't stop even as I passed the guard house and the security uncles all cringing from my off key voice.
I think I AM checking out. I think I am longing for the US and my old self. I am really going to miss Mysore, my eyes tear up as I write this, but for the first time in 9 months I am ready to come home.
home is ready for you. i'm tired of your distance too! i tried not to be all "we'll miss you, come home, boowhoooo" while you were gone, but this last month or so, i am like "return. return now. your absence is felt. you and your family do things/are things no one else is, or can be. i want that back!"
ReplyDeleteCathleen