Everyone keeps asking, "Are you happy to be back?" Or just assuming, "You must be glad to be back." And yes, I am, but I feel like a traitor if I say it.
This past weekend we gave my father in law a surprise party. It was absolutely fabulous. The surprise went off well. The venue gave us all a gorgeous view of Washington, DC. My sister in law had organized everything so well. We saw so many old friends. It was so much fun to catch up.
And my folks came. Both sets. This is always a blessing and a curse for a divorced child. Of course, I was overjoyed to see them both after 9 months and the fact that I got to see them immediately after returning home was a bonus. But then the uncomfortable part sets in.
As a divorced kid at a party with both of your parents plus spouses I always feel pulled. Spend some time with mom, now spend some time with dad. Make sure I don't spend too much time with mom. Is dad ok? Did my step mom and dad find a place to sit? Are mom and step dad having fun? Oh ok, now all four parents are together. Is this good? Is this bad? Do I need to join them?
My sister tells me it is my choice if I want to do this. I am an adult and they are adults. And she is right, but there is always a part of me that feels between these two parents, who I love so deeply and I feel very strongly that I want to protect.
This is also the way I feel about my Indian home. Yes, I am happy to be back, but I am also so so sad to have left my friends and my home. If there had not been a deadline we could have carried on indefinitely. I try to balance my FB posts between "happy homecomings" and "missing you". I want to let both sides know how much they mean to me and my family. I feel like that divorced kid again, stuck between two parents who I love deeply.
This past weekend we gave my father in law a surprise party. It was absolutely fabulous. The surprise went off well. The venue gave us all a gorgeous view of Washington, DC. My sister in law had organized everything so well. We saw so many old friends. It was so much fun to catch up.
And my folks came. Both sets. This is always a blessing and a curse for a divorced child. Of course, I was overjoyed to see them both after 9 months and the fact that I got to see them immediately after returning home was a bonus. But then the uncomfortable part sets in.
As a divorced kid at a party with both of your parents plus spouses I always feel pulled. Spend some time with mom, now spend some time with dad. Make sure I don't spend too much time with mom. Is dad ok? Did my step mom and dad find a place to sit? Are mom and step dad having fun? Oh ok, now all four parents are together. Is this good? Is this bad? Do I need to join them?
My sister tells me it is my choice if I want to do this. I am an adult and they are adults. And she is right, but there is always a part of me that feels between these two parents, who I love so deeply and I feel very strongly that I want to protect.
This is also the way I feel about my Indian home. Yes, I am happy to be back, but I am also so so sad to have left my friends and my home. If there had not been a deadline we could have carried on indefinitely. I try to balance my FB posts between "happy homecomings" and "missing you". I want to let both sides know how much they mean to me and my family. I feel like that divorced kid again, stuck between two parents who I love deeply.
As I read this I felt tears rolling down my face. It was as if I felt your emotions and realized why you will always hold a special place in my heart. It is because you always have and always will have that kind and sweet heart of yours.:) Hugs!! CiCi
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